


Wonder

by Vxporwaves



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anime, Drama & Romance, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, F/M, Falling In Love, First Love, Friendship/Love, Ice Skating, Pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-12
Updated: 2017-11-08
Packaged: 2018-11-13 03:58:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 17,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11176536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vxporwaves/pseuds/Vxporwaves
Summary: "Me? In love with Viktor; the Viktor Nikiforov? How troublesome."A girl who always feels alone even when she's not doesn't dare fall for the world's greatest Ice Skater.





	1. Chapter 1

Figure skating wasn't anything special to you. It was a cure for boredom and it made you feel somewhat exhilarated for those few hours during your dull day. You started when you were around nine.. Maybe eight. Either way you couldn't forget the way Yuuri watched you silently when he caught you in the ice rink below the Hasetsu Castle.

He was only six at the time, only just able to peek over the edge of the ice rink on his tip toes. His eyes were wide and his cheeks were pink, from the cold. You didn't notice him because you were so lost in the skating, it hurt and your muscles were sore. You could feel the blisters reopening in your socks at the feeling of the warm, cotton socks rubbing against your wounds felt almost like agony. But alas you kept going. 

You sung the music in your mind, the lyrics repeating for the hundredth time or so, it was like a broken record player that played the same song. You had no talents, no aspirations or goals. You were existing with no purpose; even as a child.  
You weren't living on the ice or off the ice and that was when you suddenly met the eyes of Katsuki Yuuri.


	2. Chapter 2

"Yuuri! Is that you?!"

Yuuko didn't mind the sound of her voice when she yelled at the sight of her childhood friend. He was shy and looked embarrassed to be in front of the woman he used to idolise after his failure at the Grand Prix. He only had one thing on his mind and his best friend had bet him to the chase.

"H-Hi, Yuuko-san.. Long time no see."

He was gripping at the bottom of the zipped up jacket he was clothed in, his knees rubbing together to appear smaller, maybe not to have so much attention kept on himself, "Ah! Yuuri, we've missed you so much! You were so great!"

Despite the falls and fails replaying in his mind, once again, he couldn't help letting out a nervous and empty chuckle to make the situation not become awkward, "U-Uh thanks.. Ca-can I-"

Yuuko, thankfully, caught on and nodded furiously. Jumping in her spot when she yelled out excitedly, "Yes yes yes! Of course, (Y/N) is already in there, I was surprised you weren't there to lead her here seeing as she'll follow you everywhere!"

Yuuri blushed lightly and laughed awkwardly, taking that as his queue to go through the double doors to take a seat on the benches where he could put on his skates. Taking in a deep breath Yuuri continued on where the familiar cold nipped at his exposed skin. He heard the sound of skates gliding and biting against the ice and a pause, only for the skates to land back on the ice again.

He kept going and placed his jacket on the edge of the ice rink, staying in his spot on the other side of the ice to watch you. After seventeen years of being together through everything, you had always managed to hypnotise him. Your skating was so beautiful and he knew many others would agree- if only you'd skate for them personally. You never skated for anyone but yourself and Yuuri- if you felt like it.

Your skating had the power to cease time, capturing the attention of all onlookers. People couldn't take their eyes off of your form, it was an art; a masterpiece that enthralled the audience. 

Yuuri envied you but it wasn't a negative form of jealousy. It was more like.. You could give him the motivation and strength to perform and attempt to be as great as you. You were never convinced though because despite everything, you'd always reply that Yuuri was the best skater to you.

Years and years of growing up with a news article, youtube video or decent photo of Viktor Nikiforov being shoved into your face and your opinion didn't really change. Despite the fact that you mirrored the world's greatest skater in your own performances sometimes; changing the choreography to fit your own a little, you still believed Yuuri was the greatest.

It was probably because of the high pedestal you placed him on but never mind that.

Yuuri never found the confidence to interrupt your skating because despite the fact that it would stop him completely, drawing him into you- there was something about your performance that could bring tears to his eyes and it was so powerful that he felt embarrassed sometimes.

Something about your skating looked, felted so.. So sad. It was as if you were only able to attain the object of your motivation to continue when you were skating. And to a song, it was a particular song and Yuuri had only found out what it was when he nudged your phone which caused it to turn on, showing the home screen of himself and you. 

He remembered how you weren't smiling when Yuuko had taken your phone to take the photo. Yuuri was trying to shy away from the screen as he wasn't particularly comfortable, he remembers whining to Yuuko to stop and then to you, to delete the picture.

You said no and that was it. He liked how happy he felt to find himself on the cover of your phone and then the song got his attention. You had almost caught him which caused him to memorise the title and singer- listening to the song that night, feeling tears come to his eyes for a moment.

Performing in front of crowds brought tears to there eyes but you didn't really care. As long as Yuuri was there to watch you.   
You danced on the ice, flowing like some kind of peaceful swan. Yuuri caught your eyes closed with your earphones in your ears. Your legs crossed and wove through each other to move from one side of the rink to the other.

Your arms lifted as the bottom of your shirt was raised a little to make your stomach visible, your arms had flowed like a river, it was so graceful and angelic as your body followed the light beats entering your ears and into your mind, trapping you in a soul-trapping performance for Yuuri's eyes alone.

Your jumps were beyond the level of Yuuri's as the male had managed to flub a lot of them after trying to mirror you, he still tried though.   
You stopped suddenly and pulled the earphones from your ears harshly, skating right up to the edge of the rink to stop right in front of Yuuri. No smile nor frown on your impassive face after finally coming home from the Grand Prix, Katsuki losing in sixth place wasn't exactly doing well for the both of you right now.

"Stop staring you creep."

Yuuri jumped, startled when you slowly made your way to the exit of the ice- he never got to watch you for that long anyway. He knew you felt his piercing gaze and were eager to sit in the stands, watching him instead.

"Ah.. Gomen (Y/N).. Were you practising for your next Grand Prix already?"

His shaky voice annoyed you for you were more fond of his confident voice, the voice that wasn't poisoned by a low self-esteem and anxiety, "My next Grand Prix will be when you get gold."

He almost choked, "E-eh?"


	3. Chapter 3

The snow was building when you walked to the Katsuki residence, catching sight of a large poodle sitting at the front door was something new though. Your heart skipped a beat as you quickly yet quietly approached the angel on four legs.

The dog barked, making you jump when the front door was slid open. Yuuri's tired expression turned into one of surprise to find you, taking on the stance of a lion watching it's prey before pouncing and the dog that looked exactly like his dog that had passed.

Without a thought, you straightened up- a red tint covering your cheeks when your abnormal love for dogs accidentally almost came out. The dog, however, paid no mind and pounced on Yuuri as the man scrambled back in fright, "Vicchan!? Wa-wait,"

Your eyes dropped to the ground when that name unconsciously left Yuuri's lips, biting your lips to crouch next to the dog that nuzzled his nose on your hand. Something must've snapped within you because that was when you melted and glomped the dog making Yuuri and his mum watch you for a moment before Yuuri continued on in confusion, "He- he's bigger than Vicchan.. What?"

"Isn't he adorable? Looks just like Vicchan!" Hiroko chirped with a clap of her hands.

Yuuri and his dad had sworn they saw your eyes melting into hearts when the dog continued to nuzzle and lick you affectionately, "He came in with a handsome foreign guy this morning! He's resting in the onsen now."

Yuuri's eyes widened tenfold and he screamed when staring at you, temporarily disappointed to see you completely hypnotised by the dog as you strangl- hugged the dog, mumbling incoherent nothings about how cute he was, never mind that because Yuuri was already attempting to run on two feet to find the Viktor Nikiforov in his family's onsen.

Neither Yuuri's mum or dad could separate you from Maccachin as being told by Viktor and the said man was rather disappointed to find that you hadn't even looked at him for more than a minute before you were back laying on the ground with the dog. Of course you had composed yourself after having your mind only filled with the dog because you weren't exactly fond of others finding out about your extreme love for canine's.

Yuuri was hardly functioning when he returned inside with a half-clothed silver-haired male who had been smiling as carefree as he could be, you supposed that the 27 year old was expecting some sort of fangirl moment from you which he didn't receive - it was a little bit amusing, "Hi~ Are you a friend of Yuuri's? Maybe a lov-"

"Viktor!" Yuuri exclaimed when he blushed, you never said anything but stared for a while. Your eyes stared right into his, as if searching the man's soul though you were slightly surprised to find that he didn't back down and stared back- only he seemed mildly surprised too, but in a different way... Almost like he was hypnotised?

"(L/N) (Y/N).. Nice.." You introduced slowly. 

With a nod from Yuuri beside the man, you continued, "Nice to m- meet you.."

_'How troublesome.'_

When learning that Viktor would be coaching Yuuri for the next Grand Prix, that was when you were actually a little surprised but again, you wouldn't show it. Viktor had been taken in another room to put on a robe and get dried when Yuuri almost fainted after finally being able to speak his thoughts.

"VIKTOR NIKIFOROV"

"VIKTOR IS IN MY HOUSE"

"Yuuri pl-"

"HE SAID HE"S GOING TO BE MY COACH."

"Yes Yuuri- take advantage of this, okay?"

"WH-.. Why aren't you freaking out?"

You watched him puff, tugging at the collar of his long-sleeved shirt with messy hair and slightly fogged glasses, you sighed and looked down, "I don't have any particular reason."

A door slid open with a bang, Viktor's eyes closed as his head was tilted with that smile on his face again, "Yuuri~ I thought that since you lived here, you'd know how thin these doors are~"

His voice was teasing and it wasn't particularly favourable, "Uhh... How troublesome." You muttered over Yuuri's screams.


	4. Chapter 4

As usual, before dinner you were already outside with your thin tracksuit and hair tied in a high ponytail. People would wave frantically or call out to you but you kept going, only focusing on the music entering your ears.

As you were considered famous, you neither cared nor wanted all the attention. It was all Yuuri's fault anyway. Running for what felt like about an hour you had then made it to the ice rink of Hasetsu with a spare pair of keys held tightly in your grip.   
Pushing the key into the keyhole and twisting, you hastily passed the front desk after locking the door behind you and went through the quiet building to change into your skates you had brought from your apartment. Tying the skates, you sat up and took a breath when you got youtube open after taking your phone from your pocket. You typed in the words that your fingers had already grown used to typing and scrolled down to see a certain skater with millions of views.

_Viktor Nikiforov signature move - quadruple flip!!_

You watched the two minute video, skipping to the flip and watched it a few times as you were already unlocking the small gate to the ice and stepping on. Your eyes had been analysing the video and as soon as it was seen clearly in your mind, your phone was locked and placed on the edge of the ice rink.

Admiring the darkness from the windows, you had replayed the song that had always been your 'signature' song, to put it in easy terms. The melody travelled from the phone to ease your muscles, singing along softly as the lyrics were practically inscribed in the walls of your mind.

Limping back to Yuuri's house almost made your lip bleed because of how hard you bit at it. You imagined that your head was fuming as a vein felt prominent on your forehead. The pain in your knee wasn't as bad as needing someone to assist you but you still absolutely angry with yourself.

A feeling of incompetence and defeat hit you like a tidal wave and you were trying so hard to keep the tears of frustration to yourself. On the inside that is, you'd never show that much vulnerability to anyone- you hated the thought of being pitied.

None the less the walk back to Yu-topia was troublesome but you made it just as Minako had ran in so you didn't have to bother with opening the door for yourself.

"Why is there a rumour going around that Viktor is going to be Yuuri's coach!"

Her loud voice was irritating but you could only limp past; quietly so you wouldn't get caught, and go to the living room where Yuuri had been sitting, watching a sleeping Viktor Nikiforov.

"You creep, why're you watching him sleep?"

Yuuri jumped, yelping only to shush himself quietly and turned to you with a nervous expression, an awkward smile painted on his face before noticing your look of agitation.

"(Y/- (Y/N)? What happened!" 

He was alarmed- that may have been an understatement but you didn't care because you didn't need the man feeling bad about it. "Nothing." 

Yuuri had anticipated that answer when you brows were furrowed in anger, he sighed shakily and turned back to Viktor as Minako appeared behind you, "Yuuri, why is Viktor sleeping on one of the inn's robes?!" 

Yuuri remained on the floor, eager to help you but only answering his ballet instructor, "He was in the onsen, had dinner and then fell asleep.."

"Hiroko-san.." Your voice had barely reached her when Yuuri and Minako kept talking without any regard for the man sleeping as he hugged his dog. Hiroko entered with a smile but it fell when she saw you sitting uncomfortably as your leg was laid in an awkward shape in an attempt to make it hurt less, "(Y/N)-chan! What happened!"

Without making eye contact you replied the same answer as you gave Yuuri, "Nothing.. Can I have some ice."

She answered since you didn't see her nodding and scattered away in a hurry to find ice for your knee, all the while a sneeze was heard as the Russian skater had woke himself up ceasing all conversation as he sat up, his robe riding off his shoulder with squinted eyes.

"Oh, he's awake." Yuuri stated the obvious as Hiroko came back in with a slightly scolding look, "Please be careful (Y/N)-chan."

Eyes widening, you looked down again and nodded slowly, prompting a smile on her face before she walked away as Viktor spoke, "I'm starving."


	5. Chapter 5

"Didn't you eat earlier? Yuuri, he's being troublesome."

You sounded like a child and cringed internally though Yuuri was already asking his mum to make a Katsudon bowl for his idol. A sigh left your mouth as the ice pack cooled your knee though unfortunately for you, Viktor had noticed.

"Are you okay there?"

Rolling your eyes you began massaging your knee lightly, "'M fine."

He stared at you and didn't care at all when you looked back. His eyes were a little wide but you honestly didn't care when jumping up and streching your knee. A groan spilled from your mouth as you squatted slightly, a sharp pain travelling down your calf from your knee, Viktor perked up alarmed, "Is it that bad? Maybe you should take it easy."

Anger came over you and you huffed when Yuuri came back in the room with Katsudon, Hiroko following him as they both sat on the floor in front of a table where Viktor sat across from eagerly. He wiggled from side to side as steam erupted from the food, Yuuri's favourite food.

"Wow! Amazing!"

After taking one bite it seemed like Viktor was awestruck as his eyes sparkled.

"Vkusno!"

 Yuuri chuckled nervously though he was relieved too since this was the main dish of his family's onsen. The russian kept eating, scoffing the food down as he moaned in delight, Yuuri scratched the back of his head when Minako spoke up from behind them and closer to you when you stayed at the door, "Yes, that's Yuuri's favourite and our specialty."

"Is this what God eats?!" You scoffed, earning the attention of Yuuri and Minako as well as Viktor with his mouth full, "Don't be rude [Name], you only tried this when Yuuri begged you to."

"What's your point, huh?" Your gaze narrowed and Viktor had been watching the interaction like a hawk, looking onto a fidgeting Yuuri to see what the japanese man would do, "[Name] please- it's okay."

It was amazing because the moment those words left his mouth, you were still. Straightening your posture you had silenced yourself and immediately obeyed Yuuri. It was as if watching a wild puppy being taught how to obey and listen to his master, if Yuuri didn't have a full grip on emotions then couldn't this be dangerous?

Minako smiled in accomplishment and you bit your tongue to keep Yuuri from being upset with you, "Bu-but I'm glad you like it.." Yuuri spoke towards Viktor, fidgeting again when Viktor looked towards him again, Minako smiled again and replied, unnecessarily that is, "Yuri gains weight easily you see, so he was only allowed to eat this when he won a competition."

Viktor, with his bright eyes and pink cheeks, smiled and you growled under your breath because of the way that Yuuri looked horrified at his ballet instructors words, "Ah, have you eaten this recently then?"

"Yes, yes I eat it often."

Face palming, you were expecting the burn that Viktor offered to which you threw your ice pack at Yuuri's face, "Why? You haven't won a competition."

 He froze and yelped when the cold made contact with his cheek and looked at you for answers when you yelled, "I'm going to bed!"

 

A yell was heard and Yuuri had been squealing inside his room, when he had forgotten that you were soundly asleep in his room. Where you always slept when you didn't feel like going back to your apartment, "Yuuri! Let's sleep together, I need to learn more about you as your coach."

The said man dashed towards his Viktor-filled walls and ripped the posters off, only just remembering you were in his bed when you groaned from the weight of his ass on your arm, "Yuuri!"

"Ah! Gomen [Name], I forgot you were there." 

You weren't sure why that stung, but you stayed silent which earned Yuuri's attention before you had turned around to face the wall when Viktor perked up in interest, "Ah is [Name] in there? Let's have sleepover!"

"Goodnight Viktor!" Yuuri said stubbornly, it was clear to see that he couldn't be so close to him, Viktor was the man that he idolized since his childhood anyway. Yuuri lifted the sheets to squeeze in next to you, it felt odd when you were pressed against the wall, "Sorry [Name].. Goo-"

"You need to lose weight Yuuri."

He squeaked, was silent and then sighed, "I know, I'm not allowed to eat Katsudon until I'm down to my weight from the last Grand Prix." 

"... Makes sen-"

"[Name]!" He expected you to side with him automatically but you sighed in reply and kept towards the wall, nudging Yuuri with your leg to grab his attention again, "Ah, is your leg okay?"

"It's fine, let's play koala. Hurry up."

He huffed at your answer to his question but complied to your request because it wasn't common for you to ask Yuuri to do things for you, hence he turned towards you and brought you into his grasp, spooning you while you held onto his warmth and drowned in his comforting scent.


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning, Yuuri had awoken to grab his training clothes and get dressed in his bathroom after nudging you awake. You'd groan and sleep for a few more minutes and Yuuri would wait for those minutes to pass, grabbing your own clothes so he could wake you again. 

He knew your sleeping habits and how grumpy you would get but he had to be up to start by losing weight by following Viktor's exercise regimen, "This is going to be difficult hm.." 

You looked at the man, zipping up your jacket to tie your matted hair up with a yawn leaving your mouth, "I believe in you Yuuri."

He smiled and walked out the door when Viktor was already waiting on a yellow bike, Makkachin by his side, "Good morning [Name]! Morning Yuuri."

You crouched down next to Makkachin as Viktor smiled down at you with his eyes closed, it was oddly pleasing to see in the morning. "Makkachin, good morning- how are you?" 

You carelessly nuzzled the dog's head and the dog licked your cheek in reply, you smiled lightly and stood again to see Viktor already peddling the bike as Yuuri ran behind, you took off in a sprint as you kept an eye out for Makkachin who ran beside you.

Arriving at the ice rink, behind the counter was the Nishigori family as they laid their eyes on two of the most well known world skaters right now, Viktor Nikiforov standing by your side, "Hello, I'm Viktor Nikiforov and I'll be Yuuri's coach from now on." He winked and you scoffed, unfazed from the sprint towards the ice castle when Yuuri was leaning on his knees, breathing heavily as you turned to rub his back soothingly, "You're doing great Yuuri."

Takeshi, Yuuko and the triplets had screamed at the sight of Viktor as they couldn't believe that the rumours were true as you left, grabbing Yuuri's hand to drag him with you so you could put your ice skates on, "Yuuri.." You stopped and Viktor stopped tying his skates laces to listen too, "Nevermind."

You sped past the two males to go on the ice, not pleased at all to see the Nishigori family and Hasetsu Castle owners watching you, the triplets already holding a video camera though you already knew they'd be recording Viktor as he would most likely dive in front of the camera.

"I got this mom!"

"[Name] [Lastname] and Viktor Nikiforov on the same ice!"

Viktor looked at you and smiled, you looked at him weirdly and skated the other way. You ended up on the other side of the ice rink but you did that for nothing as the ice diva happened to use the entire rink. Yuuko had tears in her eyes as Takeshi and Yuuri spoke on the other side of the ice, "A quadruple flip.."

You gasped lightly when hearing a pair of skates flick on ice and looked at Viktor as his blue eyes were then turned to you. He looked at you oddly then seemed to sparkle and sped up to perform another quadruple flip. You were amazed to say the least, that was the flip where you had fallen, it made you mad to see him do two in a row but you felt a little bit special that he had obviously done it to show you.

"The little piggy can't come on the ice until he drops some weight." He smiled playfully, you opened your mouth to defend your best friend before Viktor skated in front of you and grabbed your hand, gently but tight enough to ensure that you wouldn't let go. 

His hand was cold but his hold was so warm, smooth and slightly calloused. It was comforting but it felt weird, it didn't feel right. You didn't like how Yuuri watched the two of you.

"Let go of me." Your monotone voice only made Viktor smile but he had to admit that the pink on your cheeks was absolutely adorable, "Skate with me [Name]."

Thrusting your arm out of his grasp, he slowed down to a stop and looked at you surprised, you looked down and bit your lip, "I said.. Let go." You skated away and spun on your own- hating that you had forgotten your headphones under your pillow.

 

Soon after skating, Viktor had continued with Yuuri's training so he could lose weight fast and get on the ice so he could begin his proper coaching. It didn't make anyone surprised when you were more grumpy than usual, you were talking less and you'd glare at Viktor twice as much as before. You despised the Russian for taking Yuuri away from you, you adored the Japanese skater after all; stopping your skating career to watch him grow and overcome his fears so he could bring home a gold medal, adding it to your own collection of medal from previous Grand Prix's.

[Lastname], [Name]; Japan's greatest female skater.. It didn't sound right without Yuuri's name to join you. The JSF had pictures and articles about you all over their website but you didn't actually care about that.


	7. Chapter 7

"Yuuri, do you have feeling's for Minako?"

You perked up immediately, unwilling to hear the boy's answer as you leaned against the sakura tree watching both Yuuri and Viktor sit on the bench over looking Kyushu and the river. Yuuri flushed and squealed at the question, feeling uncomfortable to answer in front of his best friend and idol.

"N-No!"

Viktor caught onto your sigh of relief but you avoided his eyes and looked back to the scenery, wanting to punch Viktor on the head as he kept asking his persistent questions, "Do you have a girlfriend? Any ex-girlfriend?!"

"N-No comment!"

Giving a side glance to Yuuri, he didn't pay any attention to you and didn't care for the way you felt about his answers. Again, your insides felt heavy and your shoulders slumped so you took a little stroll towards the Hasetsu castle which was one of Kyushu's best tourist attractions, "Aww.. Let's talk about me then, let's see, my first gir-"

"St-stop!"

Viktor fell forward in defeat but turned around automatically when you weren't leaning on the tree like you previously were, he watched you silently look up at the castle, the way the breeze blew your bangs that had fallen from your messy pony tail, the pink tints on your cheeks from the cold weather. It was breath-taking, really. Your bright eyes had been watching the castle though it wasn't as amazing as it was to a tourist who came to Japan as you had grown up here.

Viktor saw the opportunity and took it, "Hey [Name]! What's that building called?!"

His smile brightened when you looked at him awkwardly after being caught daydreaming, "Uh- Wha-"

"That's Hasetsu castle, inside is a ninja house." Yuuri answered eagerly when he noticed the limelight being shot onto you, you sighed but held your breath when Viktor 'hmm'ed' and raced to you as he whipped his phone out, "Yuuri, take a picture!"

You opt to move out of the way to avoid the camera but Viktor shocked you by grabbing your shoulder to place you right in front of the camera when Yuuri was already on his knee to take the shot. You wiggled uncomfortably and Viktor noticed, perking up when he grabbed Makkachin, "Here! Hold Makkachin!"

Eagerly you had taken the large poodle into your hold and the picture was snapped, catching your attention when Viktor held you tightly into his side with an arm holding your shoulder.

Yuuri raised to hand the camera back to Viktor as he squealed, "Hasetsu Castle!" Typing in the words to post it on instagram, instantly getting hundreds, thousands of likes as he tagged you in it too.

After a good break at the castle, the four of you- including Makkachin were inside the ice rink when you ingored all of them to skate and perform the free skate you had been choreographing ever since receiving a gold medal from the last Grand Prix. It still wasn't enough.

The paparazzi showered the two of you; Viktor and yourself with questions but you let Viktor handle them himself.

 

Time had past as Yuuri continued to run and lose weight so he could finally skate with Viktor. You were silent most of the time and had been skating on your own when Yuuri wasn't around otherwise you'd feel bad.

"[Name]"

The Russian called your name as you skated freely in the rink with your earphones, he got your attention making you huff and rip the plugs from your ears. He smiled further and spoke since it was only the two of you on the ice, "Show me your program for the next Grand Prix. Please."

You skated away, not looking as you spoke aloud, "I don't skate for other's."

"Yes.. Only for Yuuri, right?"

You stilled and Viktor noticed though he hadn't known of the breath you held in. Your heart seemed to thump harder against your rib cage. It wasn't exactly because of his words though.. It was the tone of his voice. You heard the smile through his voice but it sounded empty and almost; maybe you were mistaken, strained.

"Yes, only him because he's so persistent."  _Persistent.._

No words were passed around after that when the doors were opened, you could hear the yells and snapping of camera's from the paparazzi yelling for Yuuri but you became a little shocked to find two Yuuri's walk through the door.

Yuuri was smiling nervously as he rubbed his back but the other person that you had recognised as Yuri Plisetsky came to lean against the against the rink wall. Viktor kept skating while you were already off of the ice.

"Yuuri.." Gaining their attention, you stopped talking and looked away from the glare delievered by the fifteen year old, "Who ar- wait.. Aren't you [Name] [Lastname]?"

His eyes were sparkling and it seemed as if he was trying to hide a smile, "Uh- Yeah.." He frowned at your stutter but only huffed and turned back to Viktor, "What a pain in the ass.."

You glared heavily making Yuuri choke.


	8. Chapter 8

"None of this matters because I came here to bring Viktor back to Russia."

An odd sense of panic formed in the pit of your stomach; for Yuuri though. This Russian punk of a teenager had come to Japan just to bring someone back with him. Your blood would've been boiling except for the fact that you weren't really bothered. 

The blond teen kept his glare aimed at Yuuri as the latter had been shaking in his spot while his idol was totally engrossed in skating without a care in the world, "Viktor promised to choreograph my free skate, what about you?"

The way that Yuri had been eyeing Yuuri was making you feel unsettled, almost as if the best Japanese skater was being looked down upon by a fifteen year old. Yeah, Yuri Plisetsky was an amazing skater with a lot of potential but he also had his downsides. Though when Yuuri smirked, you were a little less than surprised but you were sure that you face read nothing.

Leaning from one foot to the other, Yuuri spoke and both the males turned their attention to the star of the ice skating world, "We haven't spoken about any free skates yet bu-"

"What?! So why is he wasting his time here?!"

"[Name]! Skate with me?" Viktor's heart-shaped smile made you growl inwards but on the surface you had rolled your eyes, you felt the other males eyes on you as well and felt annoyed, "No, I won't skate."

"[Na-"

Yuuri was cut off by Yuri, "Not only have you taken Viktor but you've got [Name] [Lastname] as well, how annoying!"

"Oi, be quiet you pest."

"[Name], are you alright?" Viktor was suddenly behind you on the ice and you had jumped slightly, feeling warmth arise on your cheeks though it would easily pass as cold. Nodding quietly, you could tell that both Yuuri and Yuri were slightly puzzled. Yuri because of your cold reply and Yuuri was because of the way Viktor had managed to reassure you in a way; calming you down.

Yuri was right though, it was almost guaranteed that people would talk about how you're taking a year off because of Yuuri Katsuki but it wasn't correct- you refused to tell others why and Yuuri was also oddly one of those people too. 

"Viktor, we're going back to Russia!" It surprised you that the verbally aggressive teen hadn't spoken back to you but it seemed he only had one goal in mind, "Hmmm... That doesn't sound fun.." Viktor had replied with a small pout. 

Yuuri looked worried and it made his pretty face look in a way that made you worry, "How troublesome.."

Viktor looked at you with an impassive look that had you mirroring him, he stared into your [E/C] eyes as you stared back at his shining blue-green ones. You'd be lying if you thought they weren't pretty because they really were. Lord knows how long you could've stared at those eyes and not be bored at all, "-petition.."

"Hm?" 

Viktor perked up at the mutter that escaped your mouth, you grew red in the face again and looked away, finding Yuuri's eyes for reassurance when he was also really curious too, ".. Uh- a competition.. Maybe some people can judge the per-performances choreographed by V-Viktor.."

Both Viktor's and Yuri's eyes gleamed, "And Viktor does whatever the winner wants!" 

Yuuri looked even more anxious, making you immensely scared and remorseful, Viktor hummed with a finger on his chin, "It sounds fun!"

 

The competition was decided and so was Yuri's unexpected stay at Yu-Topia, Yuri had been screaming about getting a room and food whilst you had been suffocating Makkachin with your love and affection. Without your knowledge or concern, Viktor had been watching with the same amount of affection- if not more as Yuuri had caught him but didn't say anything when Yuri screamed and whined about eating.

The smitten look on Viktor's entire face made Yuuri feel strange but for now he might keep that to himself. In the living area, Viktor and Yuri were eating Katsudon and Makkachin followed Viktor making you whine to yourself as you fell after trying to reach after him.

Mari had stepped in and noticed the blond teen when he turned around at the noise with rice littered around his mouth, "Ahh~ He looks just like my favourite band member!"

She almost practically bled from the nose, "He has the same name as Yuuri as well!" Hiroko was smiling as she carried blankets for Yuri to sleep in, making him huff in irritation when Mari pouted, "Two Yuri's? That's too difficult! You're Yurio now!"

The immensely disgusted face on Yurio made you conceal a smile as Viktor chuckled at the light teasing as Yuri looked at you longingly. You caught his eye but he had avoided eye contact making you concerned immediately, "Yuu-"

"Yuuri! Help me clean out the spare room for Yurio!"

"IT'S YURI, BAKA!"


	9. Chapter 9

Yurio's yelling was ignored when you stood to help Mari clean out a spare room for the angst-filled teen to occupy and Yuuri also stood though he was doing it slowly, as if waiting for someone to stop him and ask him to stay. A hand grabbed at his own and he jumped slightly before looking up to see your eyes.

As usual, your eyes were dull though the sounds of Viktor laughing made you flinch slightly. Yuuri noticed the way your face changed and wanted to question it before you had stormed away. The way Yuuri stared at Viktor, the way Yuuri non-verbally craved his attention- it was all too much at the moment, things were changing too fast.

 "[Name].. Come with me please."

But despite all that, you couldn't help but obey. 

 

No words were shared from the moment you left the house till you made it to the ice rink. Yuuri was puffing slightly as he had ran but you felt better walking in the cold of the dark night. It was almost homely. 

"[Name] why did you stop skating this year?"

Was he angry? Was he disappointed with you? You weren't exactly sure as his voice was so quiet and peaceful. It was a little frightening if you had to be honest.  "I need some time."

"What for? "

His answers were quick,  perhaps he had been thinking about what to say on the way here, "It needs to be perfect. Something is missing."

He merely stared as he hung onto the wall of the ice rink. His cheeks turning red as did the tip of his ears. He was most likely confused, it made sense if he was because you haven't told him anything about this. 

"Skate with me, Yuuri. Please don't worry about me. I don't skate for anyone but myself."

His eyes shone a moment later as he gladly glided upon the ice. Taking your hand within his own, he couldn't help but think about why you had grown up this way. So selfless and giving,  completely uncaring to anything that happens to yourself. He hated to admit that he actually loved that about you but he also wasn't exactly fond of it. 

His eyes had closed as if he had entered a light sleep. His shaky eyelids flinched with the sounds of his skates against the smooth ice. It really was a sight to behold. His grip had slowly but surely been getting less tight.  Eventually, you had surprised him by letting go and speeding around to the other side to attempt another quadruple flip. The air increased and decreased the volume of your lungs continually until your breath halted when your feet left the surface of the ice to curl around themselves and spin four times. 

An arm was raised above your head as you spun so elegantly yet landed roughly. The air around you forced your untied tresses to whip against your cheeks. It felt nice but the awkward landing almost made you embarrassed. 

Your arms were thrown out in front of you to keep yourself on your own two feet as Yuuri had stopped to watch, a worried look on his face,  "[Name]?"

"I'll keep you company until you get tired Yuuri, do as you please."

Yuuri couldn't but think you were avoiding a problem by using him as a distraction, with your head held down, the ice had built up on your skates and the small tears had began building within your heart, ones that had been present since the departing of your mother. 

Inside the office of the Hasetsu Castle, Yuuko, Takeshi and Viktor watched the two best friends skate freely as Yuuko told the Russian about Yuuri Katsuki, how he was gifted with a lot of time to practise and how he never had that many friends. It was always Yuuri and yourself. 

Yuuri hated losing, he felt as if he was disappointing you and letting you down while you had never really tried, only getting to where you are now as the number one female skater because Yuuri asked you to. 

He didn't know you had a terrible childhood because of ice skating,  it was a little ironic actually; he loved ice skating and wanted to share it with you but you could already be considered a professional by the time you and Yuuri met, then you fell for him when watching him skate so happily.  

That moment would never leave your mind. He was smiling as he skated, smiling as he jumped and spun. You wished that could've been you, feeling so elated as you did something you loved. Feeling happy as you skated was something you had always wanted. 

 

Without neither yours or Yuuri's knowledge, Viktor had left and Yuuri then decided to go home after watching you skate for almost an hour. He didn't know why you let him watch so easily but he was grateful- he loved to watch you be reborn on the ice as your skating was truly an art but he could also now confirm that you did indeed have something bothering you. 

 

The next morning Viktor invited you to take a seat on the metal seat behind him on the yellow bike as Yuuri and Yurio ran behind, you sat sideways, griping the cold metal while Yurio ran beside you as half of his blond hair was tied. Yuuri ran behind, more puffed out than usual.

At the Ice Castle, the headphones were secured in your ears as the soft beats of the music drowned you internally. The ice under you was nonexistent while it felt as if you were floating in circles. Unknowingly, your arms had been raised to flow with the music, you legs kicking out slowly to match it.

You torso moved almost sensually to the calming vibrations and only on the other side of the rink, there was Viktor, Yuuri and Yurio speaking amongst themselves, all getting distracted momentarily to take a glance at your body as you moved, the facial expressions you pulled and the way you carried yourself.

"She's truly beautiful, your lucky that she's comfortable enough to skate alone with you kobuta-chan."

Yuuri jumped at the nickname and blushed, turning to see Viktor's eyes completely entranced with your form after he had just been watching you. He then looked to his side and was even surprised to see Yurio watching you, his light blue eyes open in awe.

 

After deciding who would be skating to what, Yuuri was assigned On Love: Eros and Yurio was stuck with On Love: Agape. Both of these represented love; mature and erotic and the contrast which was innocent and unconditional. Viktor decided on the competition amongst the two as the both declared their wishes if either won; Yurio demanded Viktor go back to Russia with him to choreograph his senior debut as Yuuri only wanted to eat Katsudon with his coach.

None of this was known to you when the three men didn't even notice your sudden disappearance. You were immediately distressed, the music in your headphones had stopped to be replaced with the vibrations of your ringtone.

Halting yourself on the ice within an instant, the ice had shaved away from your skates when you practically ran across the frozen water to leave the rink and head into the changing rooms. Ripping the headphones from the phone jack to answer the call after taking in a cautious breath-  terror, anxiety and dread replacing the blood flowing through your veins when you answered the call,

"Hey Otōsan."


	10. Chapter 10

_{ флэш обратно}_

_"Oujo-sama, your food is getting cold. It's time to get up."_

_Eight-year old [Name] squinted her eyes open, sloppily licking her lips to dispel the frizzled hair from her mouth. A yawn escaped her mouth as her small arms were stretched by her sides, her eyes focusing upon the person standing above her, smiling so gentle and kind._

_His cleanly shaven beard was tamed to appear very classy, his crinkled eyes had wrinkled further as his smile widened towards the girl he cherished dearly. Behind him, a light chuckle was heard as he turned slowly to see his loving wife._

_"Otōsan~!" A croaky whine left the man's daughters lips as she lifted herself to sit up in the bed with blanket thrown around messily, her bed hair making her mothers smile widen with amusement._

_The male raised an eyebrow and turned to sit on one side of the bed, "Yes~ [Name]-hime?"_

_The girl's eyes crinkled at the mocking tone but couldn't help the goofy smile when she saw the playful gleam in her fathers eyes, "It's too early to get up! Let's all go back to sleep!"_

_Her stubborn tone was something the two parents had already been well-accustomed to as the little girl grew; they raised a stubborn, feisty and happy child and they were proud, her father chuckled as her mother had already begun grabbing clothes and necessities to place ino a pink bag. Her shining ice skates resting on the floor against her cupboard._

_"We have ice skating practise [Name]-hime, show okāsan how you spin on the ice, ne? Make us proud."_

_{ Теперь}_

 

"How dare you call me Otōsan so easily."

His reply was quick and sharp, it stung a little but your face was all the same as anxiety grew within the pit of your stomach, "Gomen [Father's Name]-.. sama, can I ask why you called?"

He huffed over the line, after not seeing him in so, so long- your fingers were shaking and you could feel small beads of sweating forming on your lower back, your palms and on your forehead. His voice was deeper and raspier as if he had developed a bad habit of smoking. He sounded so old and it almost made you choke a cry, "You have money, don't ya? I heard you've been doing alright- help your father out, would ya?"

His voice was smug and condescending at the same time, his breathing was deep and ragged and a shaky breath came from your mouth through the line but before he could retort, you quickly answered, "I do, where would you like to meet?"

The line was quiet before he chuckled, laughed and as a result, began coughing hazardously. You heard the flem building within his throat and he spat it out with the phone still by his ear, you had grimaced but the phone still shook slightly against your own ear.

A door opened behind and you turned quickly to see Yuuri poking his head through the door. He was shocked, gobsmacked and in disbelief at the sight of your glossy and dull eyes. His legs moved on instinct to comfort you before you had turned the other way, shaking with an uneven breath, "Hell no, I'm a busy man! I'll text my bank details or whatever."

"Al-" Taking a breath in, you continued as your throat felt so much more constricted but your father had already hung up. The phone slipped from your grasp though you didn't make a move to retrieve it when you stood frozen. Your hearing was numb when Yuuri surprised you by grabbing you by the shoulders to hug you. 

Your arms felt as if they weighed forty kilos each and stayed by your side as the Japanese man hugged you tightly, without any words as you felt his glasses rubbing against the side of your head with force. It was numb though, you were numb.

"[Name]? Yuu- oh."

Yuuri loosened his hold and you stepped back, feeling hot all over again. Shaking your arms in front of you, you had leaned down to grab the fallen phone and headphones to reattach them and placed on a crooked smile before dashing past Viktor as he watched with sorrowful yet curious eyes, speeding out of the room to head back to the ice.

 

_{ флэш обратно }_

_"[Name]-hime, we're here."_

_The smile couldn't be wiped from [Name]'s face at the endearing name her father adressed her as no matter how many times it had been said. The little girl's mother looked down at her carefree daughter when feeling her hand being squeezed by her._

_[Name]'s mother admired the spark of excitement and absolute delight in her eight year old daughter's eyes when she stared at the ice rink located in Tokyo._

_She couldn't deny the slight pang of envy swirling inside her at the look of happiness in her daughter's eyes and slowly, her smile melted away._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, just some information;  
> флэш обратно means Flash back and   
> Теперь means now.
> 
> \- Hime (Japanese) means Princess  
> Otōsan means Dad/Father
> 
> \- Haikyuutiipie09


	11. Chapter 11

The phone shook in your hold, tapping the 'play' button, the music continued undisturbed and flowing as easily, as casually as usual. A yearning- desperation grew within your stomach as you wished you could become nonchalant and uncaring of people or trivial things in your surroundings. The feeling of two pairs of eyes were digging into your figure as you skated upon the ice and your muscles were so tense. Your phone rang with a message, silencing the music temporarily before it continued playing once again.

Your eyes became clenched shut when you knew it was your father and his bank details. The whole conversation, transaction replayed in your mind and it made you disgusted. The only interaction with your father in who knows how many years and he is demanding money.

An unconscious hiccup left your mouth making Viktor take a step forward, his eyebrows were furrowed deeply as Yuuri watched you and then him to see his reaction to your terribly off behaviour. Yuuri wasn't sure how to feel. He was worried most of all but beyond that, he was embarrassed as he had only just realised how much he didn't know you. He was scared as he had no idea who you were speaking to and how they made you flip a switch so suddenly. 

He had never seen you cry in all the years he had known you. He felt selfish for believing you were perfectly fine with your life as it was; being a professional figure skater, partially living with him and being with him almost twenty- four seven. Another hiccup made Yuuri stop daydreaming as his teeth were grinding against each other.

He was shocked to see Viktor's back as the Russian man sped along the skirting of the rink to practically dive onto the ice and skate straight towards you. Yuuri's eyes widened tenfold, he had been following Viktor and by the time the man was pulling you into him, had he just noticed the way your back was hunched over, your hands were cupped over your face as your body shook with quiet- deathly quiet sobs. 

Almost making contact with the floor, Viktor had grabbed your upper arms to pull you right into the warmth of his body. He tightened his hold around you and petted your hair when you choked on your muffled sobs deep within his torso. A prominent grimace was present on his face, his normally bright, ocean blue eyes were staring at the top of your head, narrowed in mild anger and discontent.

Your knees had given in, forcing Viktor to softly place you on the ice as he was about to lose balance when you had no control over your limbs that clung to Viktor as if he was your life line.

Yuuri's knuckles were turning white against the skirting as he watched his coach and his best friend. He wanted to know the bottom of this but he was also dying to know if this was also the reason that caused the interruption in your skating carrer this year. Why this year and what was going through your mind.

His ears perked up at the sound of your voice when you grabbed Viktor's arms, "Let go of me.."

"[Name].."

Despite the rubbed-in tears making your face moist, your face was as impassive as ever. It was as if nothing had happened and it terrified Yuuri gravely.

 As if a revelation had come over him, he gasped unintentionally before blushing as he had drawn Viktor's attention towards him before Viktor was looking back at you. He had only just realised how often you made that face and how little emotion he could read upon it. Only just now realising how many burdens, troubles and struggles you could have been carrying on your shoulders by yourself as all you had really cared for was him.

"How troublesome.. I'm going home, I want food." Without making eye contact, you were on your feet as a deeply troubled Viktor watched with arms outstretched towards you in caution.

Panicked, Yuuri was quietly choking on his breath, he was lost and had no idea what to do or how to help you, the walls you had built were way too strong. The separation between internal and eternal problems within you was far to great for Yuuri to even know where to begin. You had been going at this alone for far to long for Yuuri to comprehend and he had most likely missed his chance to help make it at least easier for you.

It was most probably the reason as of why Yuuri was also another person in the crowd that didn't understand the story, the message that was being conveyed through your skating. Because he wasn't the person your story was completely aimed towards.


	12. Chapter 12

[Name] ate her food, sipped her miso soup and drank her steaming tea in silence. Yuuri was embarrassed and ashamed of himself, not willing to utter a word to you as he didn't know what to say. Viktor was seated by you, close enough for your thighs to be touching, feeling your body heat radiating to him. He felt at ease by you and Yuuri was astounded when you didn't move or look at him in disgust.

You kept your face down without emotion while inside you only felt pure humiliation as the two men with you had seen you crying. It wasn't something you wished for others to see nor did you wish for them to attempt to sympathise with you- the thought made you uncomfortable.

The phone in your pocket made a sound which you immediatey recognised as your message ringtone. It made you jump as it continued to vibrate and after taking it out, it finally stopped when you swiped the screen. Putting the brightness down, you kept the screen away from prying eyes when you heard both Yuuri and Viktor both stop eating to watch you.

_'I got the money, thanks.'_

The name 'Dad' with two pink heart's next to it made Viktor raise a brow as placed another crumbled chicken in his mouth. 

"I didn't know you were close with your Dad, how cute." Having Viktor lean closer toward you made you grow warm but the feeling of Yuuri stares kept your eyes down to your legs, "I'm not."

"Oh.. Then what about your mom?"

A small smile on your face almost made Viktor reciprocate before you answered, "Who knows where she is, right Yuuri?

Or my Dad too."

You had looked up, making Yuuri's throat constricted as he stared right back at you, his eyes went hard making you intrigued, "What's wrong?"

"What's wrong? That should be my line."

His voice was stern and even Viktor was a little shocked but he didn't intervene.

"[Name] please tell me why you're not skating this year."

Shrugging your shoulders, you turned away and answered the same thing you had before, "I want to see you skating Yuuri, I'll be cheering you on the whole way, okay?"

This added fuel to the fire in Yuuri, he was disappointed at your words and your behaviour as it was like he was speaking to a stranger, "Stop this!"

"Yuuri?" Viktor couldn't help say his name, feeling a little defensive and confused but he was conflicted as he was also curious about you. After having seen you're skating on television so many times and in the skating rink when you performed, he had always felt so moved by your moves and your dancing. The faces you made and the fact that every step made was choreographd by you. The music was chosen by you alone and even the jumps were self-taught by copying other skaters just like himself on youtube videos.

"I hate this [Name], it's almost like you're a stranger.."

"But we're best friends Yuuri." 

"I want to know more about you, including your skating and why you came to here alone with dirty clothes more than ten, no fifteen years ago."

Viktor looked at you and the way your eyes widened a little before returning to normal, he had no idea what to think but he wanted to know more about the girl he was growing more and more fond of. Even sitting by her side made his heart thump, "Ask me then..?"

"What?"

Sighing, you had leant your elbow on the table to rest your head, "If you want to know something then maybe you should ask properly? You know I hate troublesome things."

Yuuri deflated and turned red all over, it was pretty cute. He scratched his head nervously and adjusted his glasses as he noticed how you kept blinking with a scrunched face, "You want to put your glasses on?"

Lifting your head you slowly watched him, "Weren't you going to ask me something?"

"You look uncomfortable though..."

"Wait, you wear glasses?! Put them on!"

Viktor was smiling with a dazed look on his face, Yuuri gave a crooked half-smile when you sighed and lazily got yourself up to disappear within the skater's room. Viktor looked at Yuuri as the Japanese man nibbled on his fingers restlessly, "Yuuri? Are you okay?"

He jumped and nodded rapidly before breathing out, "I can't believe I got so scared and all I had to do was ask.."  _And she only got up when Viktor asked to see her glasses, not me.._

Before Viktor spoke, you had returned making Yuuri straighten up when you slowly fell to the floor using Viktor's shoulder as support. He offered a hand that you took hesitantly making him smile and you once again leaned against the table before a hand stopped you, "Look at me!"

Viktor pulled your hand towards him slowly making you look with a small frown, the glasses sitting on your face were black with black and white patterns on the inside and they were rounded like Yuuri's. They made your eyes pop more and made you look so much more beautiful if that was even possible. 

"Beautiful.." Viktor couldn't help mutter those words but smiled earnestly after they slipped from his mouth with wide and genuine eyes. The direct eye contact made you flustered so you turned away rapidly when feeling a pink tint grow upon your face. Viktor's smile widened at the sight of your red ears as Yuuri watched amazed from the interaction.

"I'm falling asleep here Yuu-chan."

He jumped at the childhood nickname and saw you smile slightly, he knew you were in a good mood now and it made his shoulders slump, "W-why did you cry today.. At the rink."

"After having no contact for who knows how many years, my dad called me to ask for money."

Both males eyebrows furrowed, "Why?"

"I'm not sure."

For once, Yuuri was glad about your blunt and straightforwardness, "Why did you stop skating this year?"

Tripping over your words a little, the men waited patiently for you to gather your thoughts, "I've made a routine made solely for my dad and it has to be perfect- I want to watch you get a gold medal Yuuri.. But I also wanted to watch and learn more jumps from you and Viktor.."

"Why do you want to skate for him? What about your mum? Wait, what's your theme then?"

A door slammed open, then another within the span of three seconds- silencing Yuuri when he jumped and looked back in fear as his heart almost jumped out of his throat and in came Yuri Plisetsky.

"I need food!"

"It's  _solitude."_

"Are you people listening?!" 

Meanwhile Yuuri and Viktor were only forced to move when an angry fifteen year old started screaming at them repeatedly.


	13. Chapter 13

{ флэш обратно }

_Two years later_

_"[Name]-hime, we're here- let's make mummy proud, okay?"_

_[Name] smiled up at her father with delight shining within her eyes. She couldn't wait to learn more jumps and spins on the ice and today she held her fathers phone in hand with a video of a skater performing a salchow ready for [Name] to imitate. She felt adrenaline rushing through her veins as she stared up at the Ice Castle in Hasetsu and tightly grasped her fathers hand to lead him up, pulling him with her._

_She revelled in the sound of her fathers deep laughter. It was so bubbly and it made the ten year old girl feel warm inside. She absolutely loved the way her fathers voice could make her smile instantly hence she felt so devoted to doing as he said, just to make him proud of her._

_Originally born in Japan, the girl had moved to America for about five years of her childhood. She trained and skated there but she also loved the people she met, she really thought they were dear to her until she had to move. [Name]'s mum was a beautiful young lady and [Name] thought her smile could brighten up the whole day and shine brighter than the sun._

_[Name] didn't know why she saw her mum yelling at her coach, saying things about them not being 'competent', the ten year old didn't know what that word meant but she followed without a single goodbye to her skating friends, her skating team._

_They had gone back home, forcing [Name] to skate in her home rink at the Ice Castle. She had met Yuuri Katsuki there but their meeting was short-lived for [Name]'s mum wasn't satisfied._

_Next they had moved to Russia to skate. The coaches were strict and the training regimens were hard, really hard for [Name]. It made the little girl sad but as long as her mum smiled, she didn't need to complain. Her mum was smiling when she skated so she wanted to skate all the time and never stop. Exceeding her own strengths to become the best- the Russian coaches always got angry at [Name] for doing this because her body was still developing and growing._

_[Name] didn't care._

_[Name] wanted to make her mum happy, her dad too. They were the king and queen of her world and [Name] thrived off of their happiness. The skaters of Russia were struck with wonder when they watched [Name] skate in their rink. A foreigner from Japan came in like a storm taking everyone by surprise but she didn't see them when her mum was smiling._

_Without her knowledge or maybe because she didn't really care, [Name] was entered into several junior skating competitions. There was a lot of camera flashes and parents cheering on their children. It was cute, the way these Russian people watched their children with hope and delight, they saw the foreign girl too and none were intimidated until the golden medal was hanging from [Name]'s neck._

_Competition after competition, [Name]'s abilities never stopped growing as her jumps grew in difficulty and her spins became much, much more precise; earning extra points. Russia became a bore consisting of gold after gold. Competitors hated [Name] and the way she skated, they hated how even they were completely entranced by her ice dancing as all that was missing was her tiara._

_[Name] had heard the nicknames 'Ice figurine' and 'Cold queen' floating around her but the gossip was too troublesome to deal with. The people that found themselves in a competition against the cold queen either promised to absolutely beat her or had already given up. They despised her but they also looked up to her and it only made them hate her more. No matter what, [Name]'s gold medal would shine so bright- but she wouldn't even pull a smile._

_She didn't care about the results, [Name] would walk away before they even showed up on the screen with everyone's scores and only felt the daggers of all their stares on her back. Her dad was attempting to, but he wasn't laughing with her anymore. Her mum wouldn't bother hiding it anymore; the way her eyes boiled with undecipherable anger and remorse and deep unsatisfaction._

_[Name] grew tired and the skating community in St. Petersburg almost threw a festival at the rumour that [Name] would be leaving. Leaving the country that is, the Japanese girl was still a very big threat to the potential worlds best figure skaters._

_No one knew why [Name] left but a lot of people wondered why the ten year old girl left with one parent instead of two._

_{ Tеперь }_

"[Name]? Wakey wakey, it's time to get up!"

"-Humffurgh"

Her voice was croaky, it sounded adorable and Viktor couldn't help but lean in closer to whisper in the girl's ear as her hair was messily placed across her face. He was so tempted to brush her hair away and kiss the top of that cute, little nose of hers.

"Come on, today is the competition with Yuuri and Yurio, aren't you excited? You're the one who suggested this after all."

Turning over stubbornly, you hadn't realised that you had flipped over to face the Russian male as he was kneeling on the bed next to you until his light breathing fanned over your face. It felt uncomfortable until you accidentally breathed in the scent of mint and relaxed further into your blankets, "[Name]? What's wrong?"

His voice was questioning but also panicked a little, it made your eyes open with curiosity as he looked down at you with a worried look on his face, his bangs covering his left eye as his brow was furrowed and that previous smile on his face; by the tone of his voice, was now turned to a grim line.

"Get out.. so I can.. change" Despite just waking up, your body was already moving to sit up when you stopped and noticed a wet patch on your pillow. Staring at the pillow to avoid eye contact, your first thought was that you had dribbled in your sleep which was extremely embarrassing. 

"Dd you have a bad dream?"

Despite Viktor's name being called by Yuuri from the living room, Viktor kept his attention on you, cupping your face immediately to wipe the tears away. In your flustered state added with the fact that you were still not fully functioning, you only backed away and grimaced at the feeling of your tired limbs stretching.

"I'm getting.. changed."

Viktor was reluctant to leave but began to stand at the sight of your hands reaching for the bottom of your pyjamas shirt. He was on his two feet, staring as he thought of what to say before he saw something he shouldn't have; despite how much he'd love to. 

"Don't cry alone.. I'll be expecting an explanation soon, okay?" Nodding, he left the room for you to think about your dream alone and endlessly.


	14. Chapter 14

Despite the awkward interaction on Viktor's part, he wasn't really surprised to see you nonchalantly walking though the house without a worry as your best friend was on the verge of a freak out in front of you.

"Where's the other one?"

"Other what?"

Sighing in the middle of rolling your eyes, Yuuri stopped and looked at you as Viktor glanced your way too, "The other Russian boy."

Viktor chuckled and walked closer, tempted to and successfully placing his arm around your shoulders, "You mean Yurio? He's at the ice rink already- you want to head out early?"

"..." Conflicted between shrugging off the taller man's arm or acting neutral about it when your stomach actually felt uneasy, you nodded without realising as Viktor perked up with a smile, "I'll accompany you! Yuuri- we'll be waiting for you when you're ready, okay?"

Your best friend nodded but he was too stumped to say anything, the look on his face wasn't one of sadness neither was it satisfaction. He was completely neutral and it oddly made you annoyed, "You want me to rig the competition or..? I don't know what you're thinking."

Viktor turned as his arm was still around you, he stared back with a look and waited for Yuuri's answer when he had jumped with a red face, "No! What- no, uh It's fi- not like I've actually done it before!-"

He froze at the look of the almost non-existent smile on your face as your eyes shone a little, letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding when he didn't know how to feel as he admired how much of a couple both Viktor and yourself appeared to be as you stood so closely together. Viktor looked down at you, unable to see the expression before Yuuri was hurrying to grab his shoes.

Watching him leave gave Viktor the opportunity to drag you out slowly as his hand tightened around your shoulder a little, Makkachin followed and ran in front as he barked in joy and the man beside you had smiled at your reaction when hearts were practically glowing from your eyes.

You didn't see it as all of your attention was focused on the poodle.

Walking from Yuuri's home to the ice rink wasn't that far but Viktor was determined to slow down his walk as much as possible so he could savour his time with you, people watching in the early hours of the morning were too shocked to react when watching the literal king and queen of figure skating walking so close together with a dog guiding them to the ice rink.

"Viktor Nikiforov!! [N-Name] [Lastname]! Pl-please can I-.. Can I please get a picture please!!"

A teenage boy, maybe seventeen or eighteen had appeared with two of his friends behind him, a girl and another boy. Their faces were flushed red and Viktor smiled, "Sure! Let's all-"

"Ah, can you please take the picture?!" 

The excited boy couldn't help but yell and Viktor froze, turning pale as he heard a scoff from the woman beside him. "[Name]?"

Without warning, a crazy laughter escaped your mouth that became contagious when the boy behind; standing with the girl, began laughing too and Viktor couldn't help a nervous chuckle as he scratched his head, "You made her laugh! Oh my god!"

The girl had cupped her hands around her mouth and both the younger boys wouldn't stop laughing as you had held your chest, head held back with tears building in your eyes, "Hahahaha! I can't, I ca-cannot oh my go- that's incredible!"

Viktor smiled, wider this time when admiring the smile you held and took a mental photograph for it was something he would never forget, his eyes were wide as they scanned across your entire face and he was so lovestruck.

"Let's.. Get this over with."

Breathing in, you had contained yourself and moved away from Viktor when he was handed the phone to take the picture, the three teens squeezed in with you with huge smiles as only half a smile appeared on your own face. The bridge fence behind the four of you was freezing but the scenery was serene and perfect for a photo, Viktor wanted to keep it but instead gave the phone back.

"Thanks V-Viktor, thank you so much [Name] [Lastname]!"

The girl was skipping and the other guy bowed before running after her with a yell but the other boy with them slowed down slightly as his friends went off but stopped when they realised he wasn't following, he turned around making Viktor watch by the side when you took a small step forward to focus on him when he looked so troubled.

He was quiet, letting you analyse him to admire his short hair that was the same colour as yours. His eyes had a similar shade as yours though they also held a light green. His squared shoulders showed his athletic build and he was a little shorter than you, maybe seventeen years old.

"[Name] [Lastname].."

"Stop being so formal, [Name] is fine." He seemed to curse himself and shake his head slightly as if scolding himself before stuffing his hands into his pockets to stop from fidgeting so much, "Uh I wan-.."

"... What's your name?"

He jumped and ignored the awkward shouts from his friends to yell out his name with a blush on his cheeks, "Alexei!"

"Alexei, that's Russian, right?"

Viktor smiled and walked next to you, staring at Alexei as his arm was thrown around your shoulder though you were unfazed and oddly, you noticed Alexei's eyes being narrowed towards the arm around you, "I'm Russian too!"

"Yes Viktor, but I'm a little busy now Alexei- was there something you needed?"

He flinched and coughed with a deeper blush on his face, "Please.. Uh, can y-you please me some advice on figure skating?!"

With raised eyebrows, you had leaned forward to pet Makkachin who sat comfortably on your toes, shrugging your shoulders as the two boys watched your every move, "Uh, well if I had to say something, I'd say.... Do what makes you happy.. I guess, I've never really thought about this before or been asked this for that matter- sor-"

"Thank you so much [Name] [Las- I mean [Name]!"

He ran before you could say anything but you were too astounded to react anyway, Viktor had nudged your shoulder making you look up at him but your cheeks turned red in embarrassment so you had swivelled around to walk ahead of him, "[Name], wait for me!"

His arm was around you again, squeezing right against the back of your neck but he still smiled just as brightly, without looking at him, he asked, "Are you happy [Name]?"

You knew the question was coming, it was inevitable after your ridiculous answer to the boy that looked oddly, if only the tiniest bit familiar to you. Hence your embarrassed state that refused to look up at Viktor as he tapped you shoulder twice to get an answer, "Happy... I, I don't think so..?"

The questioning tone, the wondering look present in your eyes and the way your shoulders were low and sluggish. The hesitation in your voice and the way you had swallowed deeply before answering, looking down to Makkachin; it all made Viktor's heart skip a beat with unwavering desire but also the need to comfort you as he was familar with your current state of mind.

 

_{ флэш обратно }_

_"Otōsan, where is Okāsan?"_

_He seemed to growl slightly, his eyebrows were furrowed and he had been biting his lips in agitation. It frightened you a little and it made you a bit uncomfortable when noticing the redness surrounding his eyes, the hold on your hand was tight, severely tight and it hurt as your fingers wiggled in panic._

_Your hand had turned white because of the way your fathers hand enveloped your own, he pulled you along with him as his other hand gripped the suitcase just as tight, if not more. Jogging to catch up with his long strides, he didn't answer for a while and he felt your stares piercing the sides of his face._

_"Stop looking at me, don't talk."_

_"Otōsan..?"_

_When your dad displayed two tickets instead of three, you were scared as you didn't want to go back home from Russian without your mum but there was no sign nor words to indicate that she was coming._

_It wasn't until you had been strapped into your seat did the tears leave your eyes when you began missing your mum. Your dad wouldn't sit next to you, he had always gotten up to take a little stroll around the plane or to the bathroom, whenever he came back you'd notice the way he sniffed a lot and his eyes were red._

_A hiccup left your throat when realising that you didn't even get the chance to say goodbye but you promised yourself that you'd hug her twice as hard when she came back home._

_If she came back home._


	15. Chapter 15

A slow and sluggish walk as Viktor held onto you was brought to an end by the time you had both arrived to the location of the competition; Hasetsu on Ice. There was a lot of people of all ages as the Nishigori triplets had advertised the competition a lot and they did a good job at it. 

A lot of fan girls in Japan surrounded the building's entrance making your eyes involuntarily roll,  "This is so troublesome.." Viktor couldn't help but smile at your adorably lazy attitude and brought his hand down to your own to grasp it and help you through.

Feeling his fingers wrap around yours made you flinch, ripping your hand from his own before being noticed by paparazzi and wild fans with no sense of personal space. You noticed him staring at you worriedly, with a shocked look on his face but you couldn't bring yourself to look back as you brought the hoodie of your jumper over your head to pass through the crowds to dash into the doors as people were filling up the building. 

Girls were yelling and passing through, running into you as they shoved you to the ground yelling Viktor's name. Huffing on the ground, you had used your hands to stay upright and but didn't have enough time as someone had ran by you, stepping on your fingers just when your hoodie fell off to fall down you back.

Gasping at the pain, you cradled your hand immediately as the stinging sensation burned at your skin, a girl gasped in front of you when she noticed someone on the floor. She screamed, not as loud as the girls screaming the Russian skaters name but enough to make you jump, she rushed forward as you stayed put to tend to your hand, "[Name] [Lastname] are you okay?!"

Without answering, you had used your other hand to lift yourself forward before another person was suddenly kneeling down before you, looking up it was Viktor who had came to your aid and grabbed the hand that was loosely held into your chest.

In shock, you had only stared without realising the large crowd of people forming around the both of you with their cameras out. Pictures were being taken and every single one of them caught of the action of Viktor bringing your injured fingers to his soft lips to place a delicate kiss upon them.

He never stopped staring into your eyes and you couldn't stop looking at his. His smile widened when your jaw had fallen agape and his hair had fallen over his left eye when he was shaken out of his daze at the barking of Makkachin when a girl screamed, her nose bleeding into her palm.

"Is your hand okay?"

His voice barely registered over the sound of your heart thumping crazily in your chest. It felt as if your throat had become constricted and your lungs were collapsing. The air was too thick and the thought of getting suffocated by this wild crowd scared you.

The insane feeling in your chest scared you and the flashes from cameras did you no good. It wasn't his fault, it wasn't the girls faults and it wasn't yours either but your fight or flight signals were malfunctioning as the only thing you could think of was disappearing.

On your two feet, ripping your hand from Viktors as he remained on the floor, surprised, he watched you run through the door to the dressing room when he stayed to recover and say hello to his Japanese fans.

Within the dressing room, Yurio turned around in surprise as the door slammed open and then closed. He had just placed on his costume, a white full body material with bright rinestone and mesh across his chest. There was bright silvers and whites across the agape costume with white feathers hanging off of his shoulders, he looked beautiful.

"I could have been naked! What is wrong with you, huh?!"

"Oh be quiet."

"HUH?!"

Taking in a breath, you ignored Yurio and sat on the bench placed in the middle of the dressing room. Holding your hand to inpect the red skin, your shoulders slumped when the door opened again making you stand immediately only to calm when it was Yuuko that walked in with a gentle smile, "[Name], is everything okay?"

Nodding, you hadn't realised that your breath was caught in your throat until you sat down again just as Yuuko invited Yuuri inside. Once he caught sight of you, he had smiled but it faltered when he saw the skin on your hand, "[Name]- chan? What happened to your hand?"

Yurio took a closer look and saw the redness and so did Yuuko. Yurio felt a little guilty for being so apathetic but he also felt as if he had to get into the zone and think of his agape without distractions. Yuuko was rushing to kneel before you while Yuuri copied.

They both settled before you but Yuuko stood again with a bleeding nose, "Sorry! It's Yurio and his costumes fault! I'll get an ice pack for you [Name]." She rushed out the door just as Viktor opened it and ran past with her hands cupping her face.

"Disgusting."

Yurio was placing his headphones on his ears as he focused and Yuuri held your hand, catching Viktors attention as he saw the way your eyes watched Yuuri hands on yours. So gentle and shakily, he held your hand and you did nothing to stop him.

Viktor went into the corner of the room and watched over Yurio, Yuuri and yourself, "Does it hurt?"

"No, I'm okay."

Yuuri was satisfied with your answer and stood, "How did it happen?"

"I fell over and someone stepped on it- it doesn't matter Yuuri, just get ready for the competition, okay?"

His hair was slicked back and it was visually pleasing as he looked back at Viktor who had smiled back in acknowledgment, "Alright."

He took a bag into another room to change into his costume, giving Viktor the opportunity to appraoch you and take a seat beside you, he was at a loss of words and his mind was racing too fast for his mouth to think of something comprehensible so he settled for something simple, "Are you sure your hand is okay?" 

He feared the thought of making you annoyed for asking the same question but the skin on your hand wasn't looking any better and the redness was really bright, "Yes, thank you."

He stopped talking and all that was heard was the sound of Yurio warming up from behind the two of you, "-orry.."

"What was that?"

He was loud making the both of you flinch at the unexpected sound of his voice before he turned his body to face you, taking this moment to your advantage when no one else was around and Yurio was using his earphones, "Sorry about before I mean.. I don't want unnecessary stuff on the internet and gossip.. and stuff.."

He was reminded of a few minutes before you had fallen when you had forcibly ripped your hand from his own. He smiled when realising and shook his head, "That's okay, I'm sorry [Name]."

"Don't apologise when I am.. It sounds weird."

Viktor smiled at the scrunched up look on your face and clenched his hands in excitement, "Sorry for running too, It was too overwhelming."

"No that's alright, I understand."

Neither spoke of the kiss upon your hand and you were happy Viktor didn't say anything just as Yuuko came back, "Here you go." She handed over a small ice pack wrapped in a cloth for you as you took it from her to place it over your hand just as Yuuri also came in with earphones already in and playing.

At the sound of the door opening, you looked up and over Viktor at Yuuri and admired the bright rinestone and glitter over his chest. The mesh across his leg and the dark costume that seemed perfect for his eros theme of the On Love music.

He stared back at you as he had taken his glasses off, memories of back when Viktor wore the same costume back in his junior competitions when he had long hair that flowed so beautifully. The half skirt along Yuuri hips reminded you of the way it cascaded around Viktor hips when he'd jump and spin at the age of sixteen.

At age fourteen you had watched Viktor's performance from your television in Japan. Viktor had won the Junior World Championships in Bulgaria. It entranced you- temporarily placing you into a state of wonder and awe at the teenager on the screen. You remembered how Yuuri was also watching when he was twelve.

Viktor wore this costume that fit Yuuri so perfectly, Viktor won the Junior World Championship in this, the competition you had won a year before at the competition in Germany. He looked so beautiful in it.

"It looks beautiful."

Yuuri took a earphone out with his jaw dropped a little, he didn't expect a compliment; a nod of the head, yeah- or maybe a small smile- but not what he got.

Viktor watched you endlessly, staring into your eyes as your gaze was locked on Yuuri's costume; his costume from just over a decade ago, he really liked the look in your eyes- he wanted it to be for him and him alone.

"Yuuri! That looks amazing!"

Yuuko clapped for the Japanese skater making Yurio grumble and turn away despite having been watching Yuuri the whole time. The both had warmed up and were ready to go and now it was time to head for the ice, "Yuuri, are you ready?"

"Yeah, just watch me, okay?"

Nodding, both of the Yuri's walked in front of you and headed to the skirting to allow you to see the crowds watching that were also the judges for the night to choose the winner with their applause.   
Yuri Plisetsky went on the ice first, his eyes were hard though they had softened for the performance. The tranquil music played and you couldn't take your eyes off of him. Viktor's programs were always so delightful to watch whenever you could be bothered too and watching another perform it so close was certainly enjoyable.

Focusing on the goal and the reason he was fighting to win got into his head midway and after a flawless performance, Yurio had visibly become too emotionally flustered to convey the Agape how he was taught to.

Without noticing the way Viktor had slowly sidestepped towards you as you had been leaning against the skirting of the rink, his eyes were completely entranced with his pupils performances and he was pleased thought not surprised to find that you were unaffected when he lightly nudged you when Yuuri Katsuki was now skating onto the ice.

The music came on, a blush taking over your face when Yuuri began as he licked his lips at the beginning of his eros. His dancing was sensual though you had noticed he took more of a feminine role rather than the masculine. Only thinking about Kastudon, he had fully grasped his eros though he didn't manage to fully land one of his jumps but even so, the crowds surrounding him drove him to keep going until Yurio heard nothing but screams for Japan instead of Russia.

A growl on the side of you caught your attention once Yuuri's performance was finished, one the other side of Viktor, you caught sight of Yurio with his back facing you as he walked back to the changing rooms without waiting for the end result.

The way you stared right at him, you could almost see yourself walking next to him. The way you had always walked away without even a glance at the scores. The way you always felt stares digging into your back- it compelled you to follow.

Entering the dressing room right after him, he watched you with a disgusted look, "Are you a pervert? I'm going to get changed."

"I'm not attracted to fifteen-year-olds; that's illegal. I'll turn around."

He huffed at your answer and the way your facial expression didn't change, "Whatever, what do you want?"

Facing the wall now, you heard Yurio shuffling with his clothes as you answered, "Why did you walk away?"

"It's pretty obvious about who won."

"Oh."

He stopped at your reply before he was loud again, "What is it?!"

"The way you were walking away- it reminded me of myself.."

You heard nothing as he slowed to turn and look at your back, his brows furrowed and his lips were held in a grim line, "What, did you lose a lot or some crap like that?"

"Actually I didn't look because I always won."

"WHY ARE YOU HERE?!"

The door slammed and you turned to see that Yurio had walked out to the entrance when the applaudes continued for Yuuri Katsuki; the winner of the competition and the bet who gets to eat Katsudon with his Coach.

"Yurio, don't be angry."

"It's Yuri and I'm not angry!"

Rolling a suitcase, he was walking away and avoiding looking at you in the eye as you huffed out loudly making him stop, "Don't try to make me feel better- I'll beat that little piggy at the Grand Prix Final."

He gave you a side glance with fierce eyes that no longer made you think of yourself, Yurio was a teenager and he had a lot to learn so it made you nostalgic but he was so angry and stubborn- it was troublesome.

"Excuse me?!"

Staring at him, you hadn't realised that you spoken that last bit out loud, it was true though, "Yurio! Wait for me, I'll take you to the airport, okay?" 

Yuuko had jogged past you to walk by the Russian skater as he nodded at you in farewell, nodding back- the both of them left down the staircase to go when you turned around to go back to the Ice Castle when two people stopped you.

"[Name] [Last-]! It- It's me, A-A-Alexei!!" His cheeks were a dark pink and he stuttered heavily.

"Oh, Hello." Was your only reply when your eyes moved to the woman beside him that was older, her clothes were lavish and she had a considerable amount of shining jewellery with an authentic handbag hanging from her arm. She stared you up and down as you couldn't help but meet her gaze, when Alexei saw this he jumped, "Oh, I'm so s-s-sorry! This is my mother."

His Russian accent was present but his Japanese was still very good and understandable, his mother was appeared Japanese but she looked very familiar- Alexei was familiar and he looked like this woman and you got a closer look at her face when she approached you with a smile, her phone in the other hand, "Hello [Name]-chan." 

Her Japanese features were only slightly shone on Alexei but instead of the natural black, her hair was dyed light brown. She held a hand out to you, you shook it awkwardly as this woman's smile brightened, the Japanese term of endearment she spoke to you didn't exactly help to make you feel relaxed either, "It seems you don't remember me."

With a raised brow, your hands slowed until it eventually let go of hers when Alexei watched in complete shock. Her hand was soft and warm and her smile shaped to appear that way too, "It's me, Masaru."

Still, with no recollection of this woman whatsoever, she sighed as you stared at her like a lost puppy, "Okāsan? What's going on?" Whipping your head to face Alexei, he was startled at your reaction when his mother didn't answer as your mind went back to when you were thirteen.

_{ Флэш обратно }_

_"DAMMIT!"_

_Another empty bottle was added to the collection, only this time it had landed on the ground to smash into tens of tiny shards all over the living room._

_Your father was furious, seeing red when he went on a rampage for an unknown reason. He scared you and started screaming about something, causing his voice to turn rusty, so hurtful and loud. It was so frightful that your immediate response was to hug him tightly before he shoved you off._

_He wasn't aware of his actions, or maybe he was but he didn't have remorse because he just kept crying until tears broke through his eyelids to litter his cheeks when he choked on his words. Having been pushed to the ground to land harshly on the tile floor beneath, your leg slapped against the surface when your behind hit the floor hard. It hurt and having been filled with so much fear, you had ran straight to your room to slam it shut and sit behind it in fear that your dad would come and do something to you._

_He was yelling more and you could hear things being shoved and pushed to the floor, things were being broken and glass was being smashed. He swore and stomped around yelling curses before it stopped after a few minutes._

_With tears falling down your cheeks, you slowed your breathing to listen and only heard heavy exhales. The choked sobs hurt your throat wanting to come out as your shaky hand raised to reach the doorknob and slowly twist it open when more sobs made you flinch involuntarily._

_"Wh.. Why..."_

_"Why Masaru.."_

_{ Теперь }_

"Oh. You're the woman that made my father cry for all those years."

Shocked at your lack of reaction, she recovered with a nervous chuckle, refusing to glance at Alexei who watched perturbed when she held her phone tightly, "Uh- I read something interesting online- perhaps you could enlighten me, hmm?"

She held her phone in front of your face and she smiled at the look of horror when you were staring at a screen full of pictures with Viktor and yourself together; pictures that you'd never even realised the paparazzi could've taken with other photos from only just before competition between Yuuri and Yurio began. 

"I'd rather not. It was nice seeing you again Alexei."

Marasu gasped loudly with a dropped jaw when you walked around the pair and internally questioned your every life decision. Walking back up the steps to the Ice Castle, you refused to look back when Viktor was opening the door to greet you with that heart-shaped smile of his that made you look away with a small smile of your own.


	16. Chapter 16

"[Name]? Did you see where Yurio went?"

Walking back into the Ice Castle, you were to distracted to answer and felt odd after witnessing Viktor's heart-shaped smile that was directed at you, "Mhm he left." Viktor noticed the spaced-out look in your eyes and watched when you walked past him and didn't stop to pass through the doors of the rink just as fans were walking out to exit the ice skating rink.

"[Name]?"

Viktor turned around to see what was outside, looking in the direction that you had come from and saw two people, a woman with that younger male that had taken a picture with [Name]. Viktor stared at them for a while and wondered why the lady looked so composed with that misleading smile while the younger male was flailing around towards her.

You had made it safely through the crowds and watched as the paparazzi surrounded the winner of the competition as he stood slightly flustered with a determined look in his eyes. He had been looking around, catching sight of you and his smile widened. Immediately feeling guilty as you hadn't stayed to watch the entire performance, you only looked down at your feet when you made your way over to him- feeling someone bump into you when Viktor rushed past with a delighted smile covering his face.

Slowly opening your mouth a little in disbelief, the realisation set in that Yuuri wasn't actually looking at you but instead at Viktor who was behind you. Viktor didn't notice it was you- or he did but getting to Yuuri was his top priority. Feeling alone, you watched the two as they stood for the camera and Viktor wrapped an arm around Yuuri as the other was smiling with pink cheeks.

In all honesty, they looked great together and feeling other people around you bump into your smaller body so casually only added to the feeling of loneliness that had buried itself deeply in your heart.

"[Name]?"

Your name was being called just as your body was twisting to leave into the dressing room. You had seen Viktor looking your way, looking behind you to make sure that it was you who he was looking at. He smiled and held out his hand, moving his fingers to tell you he wanted you to come to him. Uneasiness settled within you with the crowds surrounding as only about half of the people had left, you ignored the invitation from Viktor and turned around fully to lift the hoodie over your head and depart into the empty dressing room.

Whipping your phone out, you had multiple messages from Yuuko and Minako all filled with url's to websites that you refused to click on, reading the names 'Viktor Nikiforov' and '[Name] [Lastname]' where you knew there were tons of pictures of the two of you on the internet. Despite reading them, you tapped on the message box under Yuuko's name, _'spare skates?'_

Waiting a few minutes, you had gotten a reply and read over the words, standing to head towards a closed locker, _'yeah, locker 1 in the dressing room.'_

Thankful that Yuuko had taken the initiative to get you a pair of spare skates, you grabbed the shoes and sat on the bench with them on the floor. Taking off your shoes now, they were placed on the bench beside you as the laces to the skates were loosed under your hands.

You slid your slightly blistered feet into the skates and tightened them when standing, grabbing your phone as it was placed in your pocket but feeling regretful as your earphones weren't in your pocket where they usually were. Despite that, the area on the other side of the door was gradually getting quieter until there was almost no sounds to be heard.

Opening the door, you had peaked your head through and felt relieved to see no one inside- you guessed that Takeshi had sent everyone out as the competition was already done. Stepping out, the door closed behind you and you had walked around the entire skirting to find the stereo that was kept here for the skaters that came in.

Turning the stereo on, you found button and switched on the bluetooth to connect your phone and play some music, making a small playlist in your phone but you were stopped by a voice, "[Name]."

Without looking at the intruder, you heard a door being closed and cursed yourself mentally when realising you didn't hear it open, "You're going to skate?"

Viktor's voice echoed in the rink, then repeating in your mind, remembering how he brushed you off completely to rush to Yuuri's side. Normally it was you at Yuuri's side but now he had someone else he could count on. Yes, both Viktor and yourself were both professional skaters with titles and records but you couldn't do anything to benefit Yuuri.

You didn't know what to say unlike Viktor who always had something to say- making Yuuri realise how much he needed him. Was the purpose of Viktor's arrival a wake-up call? Maybe he came to Japan to kick you out of the picture because your presence made Yuuri fall to last place in the Grand Prix final.

"I- I don't know, I mean- uh"

Feeling choked up, the sounds of light footsteps began getting closer to you until they were only about a meter away. Taking advantage of the hood covering your head, you lifted a hand to cover your face more and avoided giving Viktor the chance to get a glimpse of your face.

"Please talk to me [Name]."

His voice was gentle, he sounded so kind as well. Viktor's voice sounded as if it would crack if he spoke any louder, it flipped a switch inside you that seemed to make tears gather in your eyes. Your eyevision had gone blurry, forcing you to wipe the water away as it gave Viktor a clear indication that you had begun crying.

"How troublesome. I don't know what I-I want to do, okay? I just felt like skating- I have to finish this."

Viktor almost felt like he could relate and sympathise but he still didn't know what you were going through or what had happened in your past- the other side of the life that was broadcasted on international television for the world to see you as the 'cold queen.'

"Would you like to skate it now? Maybe I can help you? But please stop crying." Viktor so dearly wanted to ask why you had been crying when he woke you up and why your reaction was so nonchalant about it. He wanted to know more about you and your childhood and he couldn't deny that he also wanted to find out if the rumours about your parents was true or not.

He was snapped out of his daze when he caught you removing your jumper and placing your mobile into your pocket after having selected a song. The piano- like start to the piece of music was peaceful and calming. Viktor couldn't help but feel giddy when you silently agreed to let Viktor watch you. Standing in the middle of the ice, you got into position and began moving as the lyrics started, 

_'You're alone, you're on your own, so what?'_

Stopping and almost tripping over air, you were frozen to the sound of another persons voice, the sound of her voice made chills run down your back and without noticing the tears leaking down your face, Viktor watched when you turned around slowly to see her as she smiled deviously on the outside of the ice with a younger male beside her, a little girl holding her hand with a bored expression on her face.

"Ah~ Sorry [Name]-chan, my bad, my bad!"

She grinned and you had wiped your face dry of tears to watch her, Viktor stared at her with furrowed brows as he didn't like they she turned the stereo off so quickly to speak with that high-pitched tone, "H-Hi [Name]!"

Alexei waved rapidly  before forcing his hand back down when his cheeks turned dark pink as you had waved back lazily, "What's going on here?" Masaru's smiled widened as she turned to her side to see Viktor, stepping closer as she dragged the little girl with her, "Hello, It's such a pleasure to meet you Viktor Nikiforov."

He nodded, smiling stiffly as he shook the woman's hand and let go to see Alexei practically ogling at [Name] without shame as she stood with a pair of skin-tight leggings and a short-sleeved shirt, "How annoying- I asked why're you here."

Alexei flinched and the little girl's eyes widened at the strong tone that laced the girls voice who had been standing upon the ice. Masaru turned back to see you with a glare now and Viktor's jaw almost fell at the voice he heard that was completely different from the [Name] he knew.

"I'm going to have Alexei and Kanako skate here- I like this place, it feels.. nostalgic."

Masaru's grin curved at the sight of your twitching eye and Viktor saw it too, he was confused at what was happening and hoped Yuuri could've been here instead of at his home so he could help ease the tense atmosphere. The air surrounding the two woman was astoundingly terrifying and Viktor wanted to help you but he wasn't sure if anything he'd say would turn out to be the right or wrong thing to say.

"Do what you want, I don't care- I'm leaving, let's go Vitya."

Eye's widening tenfold, Viktor gaped at the sound of that name coming from your lips. Without looking away from the ice, you had skated off to grab Viktors arm and drag him away when Alexei also watched completely gobsmacked as Masaru smiled manically when you had confirmed something that she thought was correct- she knew both Viktor and yourself were a couple but she didn't know it wasn't like that at all.

Kanako held her mother's hand loosely as the woman held her daughter's hand tight, really tight. Kanako didn't know what had happened but she didn't specifically care as she was only  being dragged around behind her mother- doing what she wanted to make her proud and compete in competitions that made her mother smile in satisfaction.

"Who was that lady [Name]? Weren't you talking to her earlier too?"

Viktor had stopped lagging behind and sped up to walk beside you. Pushing open the door of the ice castle, you practically fell out and jumped down the steps and Viktor was astounded to find you puffing as if you had just finished a marathon. One hand on your chest, you felt the way your heart was beating so fast and finally made eye contact with Viktor.

The silence was deafening and Viktor had no idea what to think when he heard that one sentence leave your mouth when you walked away to head back to Yu-Topia Katsuki, "That was my mother."


End file.
